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MST3K 1007 - Track of the Moon Beast
The Movie Synopsis Track of the Moon Beast revolves around Paul Carlson (Cordell), a grad-student mineralogist who gets a small fragment of moon rock embedded in his brain during a meteor shower. When the moon is full, he transforms into a seven-foot bipedal lizard and starts eating people. The authorities call in local anthropologist Professor Johnny Longbow (Sala), an expert in Navajo legends, archery, and stew. Longbow, who is best friends with Paul the were-lizard, realizes that the terrible manifestation of a Navajo legend has indeed occurred, and there is only one thing that can be done about it. Information *'Sid' the drunk bowler (and the first of Paul's victims) has his bowling bag magically disappear during one of the cuts. *Shot in September 1972, then sat on the shelf for 4 years, looking for a distributor. In the end, it went straight to television. *Co-writer Bill Finger was a long-time comic book writer and was instrumental in creating many elements of the Batman mythos. *Bill Finger and Charles Sinclair wrote the script in a weekend. The Episode Host Segments Prologue: Blossoming makes everything taste great! Segment One: Crow and Mike devour Servo's deliciously blossomed head. Pearl has created a device that controls Bobo by universal remote. Segment Two: Recreating the first scene of the movie, Crow, Servo, and Gypsy rush the Halloween season. Mike, unimpressed, continues to eat pea pods. An embarrassed and contrite Crow acts as though Mike was terrified, but takes it a little too far. Segment Three: SOL's Legends of Rock present: The tragic story behind The Band That Played "California Lady." Segment Four: With the help of the Mobile Personnel Reconnaissance Robot, Servo and Crow might finally learn what kind of pajamas Mike wears! Segment Five: While playing with his bow and arrow, Servo accidentally shoots a baby satellite. Brain Guy give Bobo a few pointers on how to care for his newly exposed brain. Pearl hates that. Stinger: Girl is wowed by moon rocks. Quotes & References *''"This is a lousy version of hey-yayy-yay..."'' Servo is singing the chorus of the song "Return to Innocence" by Enigma. *''"I have a creepy feeling that this was filmed at the Spahn Ranch."'' The Spahn Ranch was home to Charles Manson and his "family" prior to their killing spree. While this movie was not filmed at Spahn Ranch, a previous experiment Mike and the bots were subjected to was: The Creeping Terror. *''"Frank, there, is a child of the universe, no less than the trees."'' Mike is paraphrasing a quote from the Desiderata. *''"It's his Indian name. His tribal one." "Like Wahoo McDaniel."'' Wahoo McDaniel was a wrestler. *''"We're gonna have to practice some Zen and the Art of Watching Motorcycle Maintenance."'' A reference to the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. *''"He got that bike cheap from Gary Busey."'' Actor Gary Busey suffered severe head injuries in a motorcycle accident in the late 1980s. *''"I borrowed my outfit from Doc Sevrinsen."'' Doc Sevrinsen is a jazz trumpeter famous for his long stint as band leader on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. He was well-known for his relatively flamboyant clothing. *''"I'm Kent Brockman."'' A reference to the newscaster from The Simpsons. *''"I just want some peyote!"'' Peyote is a hallucinogenic plant that is sometimes consumed in Native American religious ceremonies. *''"Do you know Billy Jack?'' Gunslinger and martial artist Billy Jack is the bi-racial Cherokee/American hero in a series of cult films created by and starring Tom Laughlin. *''"Why do you keep a picture of Army Archerd on your nightstand?"'' Army Archerd was a longtime gossip columnist for Variety magazine. *''"When will our eyes meet?"'' A quote from the song "Weekend in New England" by Barry Manilow. The melody of the background music at this point in the film is remarkably similar to that particular song. *''"He stole Robin Gibb's head!"'' "I started a joke...." Robin Gibb was one-third of the Bee Gees. The song "I Started a Joke" Servo starts singing was also by The Bee Gees. * "Hey, behind Longbone! There's Waldo!" A reference to the [[wikipedia:Where's Wally?|''Where's Waldo?]] series of books by Martin Hanford, where the reader is tasked with finding a man in a signature striped sweater (like the guy sitting behind Johnny in the shot) and bobble hat outfit amidst a series of chaotic illustrated scenes. *"He opens his curtains and immediately gets hit by Skylab!"'' In 1979, the abandoned NASA space station Skylab re-entered Earth's atmosphere, and much of the debris landed in western Australia. *''"I am the Jim Morrison king!"'' An inversion of a line from Jim Morrison's spoken-word piece "Celebration of the Lizard", in which Morrison states "I am the Lizard King". *''"FAME, Fame, fame, fame, fame..."'' Reference to the fading repetition in David Bowie's song "Fame". *''"Hi, I'm here for the misbegotten!"'' An allusion to the Eugene O'Neill play A Moon for the Misbegotten. *''"Is that Dick Gregory?"'' Comedian and civil rights activist Dick Gregory was once known for making public appearances with extremely obese people in which he vowed to help them lose weight. *''"Martin Yan?"'' Chef Martin Yan is best known for hosting the PBS show Yan Can Cook. *''"...Toots & the Maytals..."'' Toots & the Maytals are a pioneering ska and reggae band. *''"...Brewer and Shipley..."'' Folk-rock duo Brewer & Shipley are best known for the song "One Toke Over The Line". *''"She's got an autographed picture of Elvis Costello and Dean Acheson."'' Elvis Costello is a well-known musician whose signature look includes horn-rimmed eyeglasses. Dean Acheson was the U.S. Secretary of State under the Truman administration. *''"It's Chairry before she gained weight!"'' Chairry, a living armchair, was a character on Pee-wee's Playhouse. *''"Good night, Keith."'' Said during a shot of the moon; Keith Moon was the drummer for The Who. *''"Your own personal moon rock..."'' Servo is parodying the Depeche Mode song "Personal Jesus". *''"Thank you, R. Crumb!"'' Cartoonist R. Crumb was one of the pioneers of the underground comix movement. *''"What's happening to the Indian in the painting?" "Uh, he's in the cupboard."'' A reference to the children's book The Indian in the Cupboard. *''"Nobody knows what may happen." "Except for Faith Popcorn."'' Faith Popcorn is a futurist known for projecting business and lifestyle trends. She inspired Joel's invention is Experiment # 423 Bride of the Monster. *''"I was dreaming and suddenly Judith Light appeared over my head."'' Actress Judith Light is best known for co-starring with Tony Danza on the 1980s sitcom Who's the Boss?. * "I'm ready to fight Captain Kirk!" The Moon Beast slightly resembles the reptilian Gorn alien that fought Captain Kirk in the Star Trek Original Series episode "Arena". * Paul: "I'd like to see Cathy." Crow: "And I'd like to see Marmaduke." This riff (along with Mike's subsequent "Aaack!") are references to the long-running newspaper comic strip Cathy. Cathy was a single, professional woman who often responded to frustrating situations by exclaiming "Aaack!". Marmaduke is another long-running newspaper comic, about a large mischievous Great Dane. *''"Does anyone need a food cart to crap on?"'' In 1995 an investment banker named Gerald Finneran got stinking drunk on a United Airlines flight. After being refused more alcohol, Finneran dropped his pants and defecated on a service cart in the first class section. He received two years probation, 300 hours of community service, a fine of $5000 and ordered to pay $50,000 in total restitution to the other passengers. *''"I must get to my Skitch Henderson convention."'' Lyle "Skitch" Henderson was a composer and conductor, working for NBC much of his career. He appeared on the popular television show "Sing Along With Mitch". *''"Hey, did you hear about Niels Bohr and his wife?"'' Niels Bohr (1885-1962) was a Danish physicist who was one of the chief architects of quantum mechanics, which has been called the most successful scientific theory of all time. Later in his life he worked extensively with Americans on the Manhattan Project. *''"Tonight on Sightings."'' Sightings was a TV series about the paranormal that aired during the 1990s, notably on the SciFi Channel. *''"I need a wheat penny and a Glock."'' Among coin collectors, the term "wheat penny" refers to pennies minted between 1909 and 1958. A Glock is a type of handgun. *''"Let's throw water balloons on Georgia O'Keeffe!"'' American painter Georgia O'Keeffe worked and lived in New Mexico. She preferred a semi-hermitic lifestyle. Memorable Quotes : professor Johnny "Longbow" Salina and his students walk off after a prank. : Kathy: Um… why do you call him "Johnny Longbow"? : Paul: Well, it's his Indian name. His tribal one. : Mike Paul: Like Wahoo McDaniel. : Paul: It translates: "warrior's bow that... reaches long to its mark". : Crow Kathy: Oh! Is he seeing anyone? : one of Johnny Longbow's long-winded monologues, thunder rumbles in the distance. : Crow God: Stop talking, Johnny Longbone(sic)! : meteor has just landed right by Paul and Kathy. : Kathy: Paul, are you alright? What happened? : Servo: She gets off the ground saying, "What happened?" a lot. : is worried about a cut on Paul's forehead. : Paul: I don't live too far from here. And I have lots of antiseptics at my place. : Servo: Dozens! No, hundreds of antiseptics! : Kathy: Your place? : Paul: Yeah, my place. : Mike: I call it "Antiseptic Manor." : Kathy: Fine. Your place, then. : rumbles. : Crow God: Not his place! Fornicators! : zeroes in on Kathy's face for a smooch. : Servo Paul: Let me explain by auguring my tongue into your mouth. : rises after fainting. : Paul: I guess I blacked out. : Mike: Um, excuse me, you African-Americaned out. : [Late at night, Paul leans against his pet lizard's cage, which is as tall as he is.] : Mike: He sure gave that lizard a lot of headroom! : Crow: Maybe he has a trampoline in there. : . . . : gazes at the lizard, who stares stonily back. : Mike Lizard: Well... now I can't get back to sleep, either. What do you wanna do? : a shirtless Paul roams at night, the camera cuts to a shot of the moon and zooms in. : Crow: Tha— That's just a picture of the moon! : Servo: Yeah, the moon backed out of this movie at the last minute. : young Native American boys practice archery, while stereotypical "Indian" music plays on the soundtrack. : Mike Boy: Thanks for the stereotype music! : the hospital, Kathy has an audio flashback, during which she stares vacantly into space. : Mike: Brain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.N : and Captain Mac, looking for Paul, drive past a road sign for U.S. Route 66. : Crow: Get your kicks on meeee-ee-ee! : tells Kathy of his plan to give Paul a quick death. : Kathy: Johnny, you can't do this! Paul's your friend! Paul— : Johnny: PAUL IS NOT PAUL ANYMORE! : Crow Johnny: HE'S SUPER PAUL! : Longbow stares thoughtfully off into the night. : Servo Johnny: I see... a huge casino! : Mike: Oh, come on. : Video releases *Commercially released on DVD by Shout! Factory in March 2017 as part of Volume XXXVIII, a 4-disc set along with Invasion USA, Colossus and the Headhunters, and High School Big Shot. **The DVD includes the Ballyhoo Motion Pictures feature Tracking a Moon Beast with Actress Leigh Drake. Category:MST3K Episodes Category:Season 10 Category:1970s movies Category:PG-rated movies Category:Episodes directed by Michael J. Nelson Category:1970s movies